Compose message bu sul6an
m3a ahaly shfeech?
mafeny shay I have to show you something BUT my hubby cant know
ee okay mo mushkila bs shloun?
ill let you know when to come o pick it up okay?
So ri7t il bait thinking of a way to divert my husband from the transaction that was going to take place sine I dont want him to know just yet.
So I walked into the house, up the stairs and into his office and sat down on his lap hugging him.
3azzam: hala bl zain hala ib um 7areb
Joun: hala feek 7yatie walhana 3laik
I was unbuttoning his shirt as I was saying that since I dont have time to waste.
3azzam: aah walhana 3ly WALHANA 3ly?
Joun: inrou7 our room
I got up, taking his hand leading him into our bedroom. I pushed him onto the bed and sat on his rock hard abs. Using my fingers I traced each, and every single defined muscle on his body.
It drove him insane, I saw it in his eyes
he pleadingly said
I kissed his neck playing with his hair, it literally moved him onto another planet.
i7m, lets just say I took advantage of my husband and I am damn proud of it.
I started playing with his hair cause I needed him to fall asleep, and it worked like a charm 20 minutes later he was fast asleep. I hopped into the shower after messaging Bu sul6an and telling him to come.
I changed, and tip toed downstairs and waited in the garden, as soon as I saw his car I walked over to him.
him: um 7areb shfeech 5ar3teny
Joun: mafeny shay bs I have something I know I shouldnt give it to you but you have to read this.
I handed him the diary.
Joun: read it tonight, anything and everything you read stays with you fahem
Joun: Drop it off at work tomorrow sam3?
him: haha inshalah yala dshay before your husband thinks we are up to something
Joun: w0uldnt you like that bye
Dshait il bait wna 5yfa I dont know if I did the right thing or not, but 5ala9 I gave him the diary o allah yaster. I crawled back into bed with my baby and fell asleep happy and content.
pixie shino pixie? fta7 il kitab o shft writing okay so its a diary bs whose diary is it. I put the book on the passenger seat o ri7t il duwanya g3dt for 3 hours b3dain 5thait bandero 3shan awady il bait
bandar: shino hatha?
him: ma adree
bandar: ha shino ma tadree
him: um 7areb gave it to me and asked me to read it o galatly il kalam ily maktoub stays with me
he placed the diary on the dashboard respecting ina the book was meant for me o he know I would tell him once I read it.
I took a shower and got into bed o started reading.
"today they hit me"
"I had to go to the hospital"
"I know have 8 scars on my body"
"no one loves you"
"joun feels sorry for you thats is why she puts up with you"
"I saw him"
"I couldnt take my eyes off him"
"I miss him"
"I love him"
"I hate him, but I love him"
g3dt 4 hours reading the diary 3ainy 6l3t she went through all of that, she dealt with all of that and she had no one to take care of her, to love her, to hold her la o foug hatha she not only likes me but she loves me.
ma gdart anam mistanis
I took the diary o dropped it 3nd Joun bl dawam.
Joun: any thoughts?
him: laish ma gltely Joun
Joun: I just found out ina she is in love with you
him: not that part Joun her family
Joun: bu sul6an hatha 3my he is family, I am not proud of it but they are what can I do ya3nee
him: shloun they treat her that way
Joun: I really dont know bs no one knows hm oboy ma yadre
him: we have to do something
him: ee we Joun ana a7ibha
Joun: you think b9er shay bainkum?
him: ma adre I hope so
Joun: I dont know what 3azzam will say to this
him: wana shako ib 3azzam Joun you know I am a good person, you know that the whole 5awla thing was all on her not on me
Joun: I know but he doesnt
I stood up, I was so mad
him: wna shako fee
I stormed out of her office o r7t il dawam wna afaker ma adre shasawi lazem asawi shay !
MAY 17 11:12 pm
pixie I thought I lost you, my heart stopped if someone was to find you and read all the things I wrote ... I dont know what I would do ! I need to start doing something with my life, its real boring. Dr.3bdullah emailed me about doing some free lance work for him since I cant come into the office and I agreed but no one is going to know about this.
I have been avoiding Saif's calls every time he calls me it seems like marriage is brought up and I just cant find myself marrying him, it wont be fair to him I would be marrying him as my ticket way out of this hell whole and not because I love him.
You know how I love, and we know I wont be hearing from him.
MAY 29 11:00 pm
I dont write much cause nothing much is happening but something STRANGE happened today. I was laying in bed, you know the usual.
me: come in
man9or: can I come in
me: um zaina
9ara7tan knt 5yfa laish yaya 3ndy, let me tell you something about my brother man9or, he is super sweet bs he doesnt have a strong personality and that is why my younger brother and father control his thinking and his actions.
Even when it comes to hitting me, he never physically hurt me and would try to convince the others to ease up on me.
man9or: arent you bored mn hal g3da?
me: haha la 3dee I am use to it by now
man9or: mm how about we go out
me: laa its okay
man9or: laish im hungry and I know you havent had dinner
me: bs a5af....
man9or: ana kalamt oboy dont worry about it
I jumped out of bed
me: okay can I shower quickly
man9or: ee hm ana I need to shower o change, an6urich ta7at okay
I was happy. For the first time in months I was looking forward to something, strange I know but I just needed to leave the house I was starting to feel like a prisoner. Samar and Joun came to visit me and I apologized to her for not being able to attend the milcha, but she assured me that it was just a small family thing but she still wanted me to join.
I promised I would come to the wedding whenever it was.
She was so happy, oh well obviously I figured out ina it wasnt him, it was his brother.
She was glowing mashalah.
Anyways, man9or and I headed to Fish market, we chose our food and settled in our chairs.
me: haha I dont think we ever were out alone
man9or: adree, sorry arooya
me: its okay man9ory its not your fault
man9or: it kinda is ana o5och ilkbeer I should be there for you to protect you
me: I dont blame you I know its not you bs ana mo fahma laish they do what they do ana ma swait lihum shay
man9or: its not you shofay ever since my mother baba was lost she was the love of his life, b3dain he met your mom o he was looking for someone to take care of him and his two sons your mother forget him and she took care of us then you came and he thought he would lose her to you at first he use to hit her for neglecting you and then when he knew he couldnt hit her anymore he would hit you because you were so young and fragile and for some reason 3bala rjoula o barako nisa5t oboy
man9or: i7na yayen in'3ayer jaw o you smile mo we bring up memories right
I faked a smile because my brother was trying right.
While we were enjoying our dinner here is what happened at home.
The house phone was ringing and after Loreta answered, she informed my mother it was someone for him.
: il salam 3laikum
mama: 3laikum il salam
: sam7eny ya um man9or daga mit25er bs ana o banaty naby neyey inshouf bntkum
mama: ee 7yakum allah ib bait baitkum
: alah e7yech mita enasbich?
mama: mita ma 7baitaw tyoun
: youm il arb3a ensabich?
mama: ee akeed
: 3la 5air inshalah b3d 9alat il m'3rb inshalah
mama: inshalah m3a il salama
: alah esalmich
After dinner man9or and I went for a walk 3l ba7ar then he got me some ice cream and we headed home.
mama: zain sharftaw
man9or: laish yuma 3sa ma shar
mama: la bs t25ar il wagt wain kintaw
man9or: 6l3na nit3sha o tmshaina
mama: wintay ma 3ndich ilsan? ma adre shloun nas yayoun ya56bounich alah yaster bs
mama: ee youm il arb3a tjahzay byoun eshofounich
man9or: mino yuma?
mama: mo muhum aham shay iny bftak minha
Joun: babe dgeega o akalmich
him: mino araya?
Joun: ee laish
him: la bs so2al
Joun: aha, anyways 3azzam shway o yanzilik
him: myloug 3laich the strict mother
Joun: really? damn it I dont want to be the push over
him: la you wont 3azzamo will
Joun: nan6er wnshouf
so pixie, should I say yes to him?
should I let him rescue me?
should he be my way out?
would it be fair?
My mother woke me up to take me shopping, apparently she wanted me to look good and she believed it would require a lot of work. We bought a dress, heels, she bought me a new pair of diamond ear rings, then we headed off to the saloon where I was waxed, plucked and polished, got my hair curled, got my nails done, we picked up our order of sweets and pastries, then we headed home.
mama: abeech jahza 3l 6 sam3a
I went up to my room, tied my hair up and took a short nap to pass the time. Roseline woke me up at 5 I took a quick shower then headed to my mother to do my make up, her orders not mine.
Thankfully she kept it simple.
The door bell rang at 6.
mama: yala nizlay salmay 3la murt 5alich
I looked up at her with, terrified.
me: murt 5aly? wh ... why is she here?
mama: mala da3y il as2la ro7ay salmay 3laiha kany nazla
I walked down the stairs, with my heart beating louder than my heels against the marble staircase. I walked down the hallway making my way to the guest living room.
me: il salam 3laikum
um-saif: w 3laikum il salam hala arooya mashalah 3laich 9ij 3rous
me: tslmeen 5alty
6ab3an everything was clear to me at the moment, Saif was the one who proposed, but why didnt he tell me I know he wanted to marry me, he constantly mentioned it but I never thought he would go through with it.
mama: hala 3lya shlonich?
um-saif: b5air wain 5awatich?
mama: they are on there way now, arooy gomay shofay Loretta 5aleha ityeeb il chai wl gahwa
I got up and headed to the kitchen, but made a quick detour and called Joun.
me: its me listen its saif
me: its saif murt 5aly tawha yat o 5alaty are on the way
Joun: what are you going to say?
me: ma adree, I have to go someone arrived I can hear them bye
Joun's mind was racing, it couldnt be Saif he told her he was proposing.
She called him.
him: hala um 7areb
him: bwady il ahal bait araya shfeech
him: shfeech why are you screaming
Joun: because murt 5alha is there and her son wants araya
Joun: akeed fee misunderstanding
him: shasawi al7een
Joun: you cant back out now, 5ala9 they are expecting you
him: alah yaster, 5ala9 joun akalmich b3dain okay
I sat down with my aunts and murt 5aly for about half an hour and then the bell rang again. I looked over at my mother and she had a smile on her face.
I was confused.
them: il salam 3laikum
us: w 3laikum il salam
mama: 7y allah mn yana
his mother: alah e7yeech ya um man9or
mama: nwartw il bait
his mother: imnwr bhala
They sat down, and were looking at me with a loving smile.
Now I was really confused.
his mother: mashalah hathy bntkum?
my mother was now sitting next to me
mama: ee hathy arayte il '3alya
his mother: mashalah 3laiha alah e7af'6ha w5aleha lich
My mother introduced my aunts and murt 5aly, and it was his mother, 2 of his aunts and both sisters. The ladies were talking and I was just staring in my lap.
his mother: wain tsht'3lain araya?
mama: laa bntna ma tsht'3l
His mother was taken back by my mother, she didnt let me say a single word.
his mother: o min wain t5arjtay
mama: jam3at il kuwait
rand: araya could you please show me where the rest room is
I smiled and got up to take her to the guest restrooms.
rand: mm, shofay bu sul6an asked me to give you his number wna il 9ara7a I refused but he is really worried about you and bs yaby y6amn 3laich
I just blushed, I couldnt even answer her. She handed me the paper with his number and I held on to it as my life depended on it. His family were pleasant, talking and laughing and 2 hours later they excused himself.
I heard Rand calling him and I couldnt help but smile.
As soon as they left, the comments started.
5alty Mais: haa shrayich ?
mama: mn 9ijich no way
my heart sank deeper than the titanic
um-saif: laish mashalah 3laihum imbayn 3laihum 5oush nas
mama: la la not my style
5alty Mais: okay bs mo intay ily bta5then wldhum aroya is
mama: whya malha kilma 3ndy, kalamy ana ily yamshe
I ran out of the living room and up to my room, throwing myself on my bed. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry.
I wanted him.
2 hours later
me: *crying* please pick me up I dont want to live here please jouny
Joun: 7beebty shfeech?
me: please t3aly
Joun: yala yala I am coming right now
I got out of bed and pulled out a bag from the closet filling it with necessities. I quickly changed into a track suite and walked down quietly.
Calling Bu Sul6an
Joun: bu sul6an bsr3a pick me up inrou7 3nd araya ana 7asa b9er shay
him: wainich im coming now
Joun: ana bl bait yala ta3al
him: send me her number
The house was quiet, my heart was pounding I knew I shouldnt be doing this but I couldnt take it anymore. I made it down the stairs, across the hallway, down the few steps when my phone rang I quickly answered.
me: *crying* I need you please ta3ly laish you left me
him: im sorry 7beebty im sorry im coming now ni6reny im picking you up
I froze in my place. I didnt turn around to see him, I didnt have to I could tell from his tone just how mad he was.
him: araya ... araya ... alooo
All he heard was a loud slap then my phone dropped to the floor.
He shut the phone and called Joun.
Joun: ha wainik
him: JOUN WAIN 3AZZAM
Joun: sh shfeek bu sul6an, shfeeha araya
him: ma adree ma adree bs sm3t barak o he heard us talking wain 3azzam o oboch lazem eyoun
Joun: inshalah inshalah
Joun called her father quickly explaining everything. 3azzam and her picked up Joun's father and drove over to my house where he found bu sul6an waiting impatiently.
He had a million questions but right now it wasnt the right time.
They kept ringing the bell, and finally Roseline opened with a terrified look.
roseline: she is not moving, she is not moving
He pushed the door open and ran in to see me laying there on the floor lifeless in my own puddle of blood.
He carried me and ran out of the house with Joun. 3azzam decided to stay with his father in law in case things got physical. He had me in his lap and just kept saying my name over and over again.
him: araya 7beebty araya talk to me open your eyes baby please araya .. araya ... rytee .... arooya baby 5ala9 5ala9 im here please gomay
Joun: is she breathing
him: ma adree ma adree ma adree araya araya araya
3my: mn mita wnt i6ig bntik?
baba: malik shu'3ul
He moved closer to him grabbing his shirt.
3my: INT MYNOON HATHY BNTIK BNTIK FAHEM SHINO Y3NEE BINTIK B'3AIT ITMWT-HA MALHA GA3DA 3NDIK SAM3 ANA B5TH-HA 3NDY
baba: bs hathy bnty
3my: int fahem shino ya3ne bntik?
3azzam o 3my left my house and followed us to the hospital. I was sent to the operating room instantly since I was bleeding internally and they had to control that.
Joun: wha... what if she ...
him: please joun dont say it please
3azzam: ha sh9ayer
him: she is in the operating room twhum d5iloha we have to wait
3my went to sit next to his daughter trying to console her since he was worried about her health with the baby.
Bu sul6an looked at 3azzam with sad eyes.
him: a7ibha 3azzam o abeha I dont want to play around, lazem itgoum please gouly ra7 itgoum
3azzam hugged his friend trying to find the right words to settle his feelings.
But he couldnt.
No one knew what was going to happen.
After for what seemed like days, the doctor finally stepped out of the operating room and he looked worried. Bu sul6an was the first one to reach to him.
him: ha dictor shlounha?
Dr: wain oboha?
3my: mo mwjoyd bs ana 3mha
Dr: tf'9al m3y shway bl maktab
Bu sul6an was anxious he wanted to know if I was okay.
3my: 3sa ma shar dictor 6amneny
Dr: wala il 9ara7a ma aby alif wdour il bnt imbayn 3laiha she is being abused o 7ta itha btgouly it was an accident aw its coincidence that for the past 4 years she has been in here almost every other month ib ra7tik but I wont believe you
3my: I wont say its not true
Dr: the girl cannot take it anymore, not only physically but emotionally the girl is slowly dying every time she comes to us, intaw ma la7'6taw il bnt is out of life, she doesnt talk she doesnt laugh dymen brou7a o hal shay mo 6ab3y for a 23 year old girl
3my: shino il 7l dictor ana ma knt adre bly e9er ana in9idamt lmn bntay galatly
Dr: tgdar itqadem shakwa aw bala'3 3ly e9er and I have more than enough proof to show ina she is being abused by her family
3my: lazem afaker dictor hatha o5oy
Dr: il bnt bl 3nya bn5aleha for a few days intab3 7alt-ha o b3dain we will move her to a room
3my: mashkour dictor!
Just as my uncle was about to share the news of my health to everyone man9or walked in with tears in his eyes. He look like he has seen a ghost!
man9or: wainha wainha
Bu sul6an ran over to him grabbing him from his shirt, but 3azzam pushed him away
him: 5alny athb7a
3my: bu sul6an yuba hathy o5oha
him: walla in ma gamat matloum ila nafsik SAM3
man9or: 3my ... ana .... wainha ....
3my: ehya bl 3nya al7en o m3a il ayam bnshouf 7alt-ha
man9or: 3my walla ma knt adree, ana rdait il bait o rosey galatly o ri7t 3nd oboy o kalamta o walla 3my ana ma knt ra'9y bly 9eer o kl ma kanaw e6igonha knt a7awel fehum bs ma7d kan ysm3ly fa knt a6l3 mn il bait adre iny o5oha bs hathy oboy
3my: bs man9or int il rayal mfrou'6 t7meha ehya shthanbha
man9or: walla adree ya 3my
Man9or broke down crying, he couldnt handle it he knew he should have been a better brother he knew he should have protected me but he just couldnt take it. He couldnt stand in my father's way.
3my: 5ala9 yuba 5ala9 man9or int rayal she needs you now
Jara7 and Samar walked into the hospital. As soon as jara7 saw his brother his heart ached for him, he walked over to him and hugged him.
jara7: ra7 itgoum ya bu sul6an lat7aty
him: alah ysm3 minik
Samar went to comfort Joun who wasnt doing any better.
3my: baba jouny mo zain 3laich wintay 7amel 7beebty riday il bait m3a 3azzam o irta7y shway o ro7ay 6amnay omich b3d
3azzam: yala baby t3aly
Joun: ayshay e9er call me, o bacher il 9b7 ityebny
3azzam: inshalah 7beebty yala gomay, 3my 6amena 3laiha o ayshay tby kalmny
3my: inshalah 7u6aw balikum
Jara7 and Samar stayed for half and hour and then left since Samar had to be home. Man9or, 3my and Bu sul6an stayed.
I had 3 broken rips, a dislocated shoulder, broken arm, fractured leg, my cheek bone was bruised badly and so was my collar bone.
Bu sul6an spent his days in the hospital. He would be the last one to leave and the first one to arrive. I was in the ICU for 3 days so he would just stand and watch me from behind the glass.
He broke everyone's heart.
He didnt eat.
He didnt sleep.
HE just stood there watching me.
3my: yuba bu sul6an ta3al ig3ad shway
He didnt want to turn him down so he went to sit next to him. No one has talked about why he was constantly there, but it was clear.
3my: inshalah btgoum bl salama
him: inshalah, 3my ana youm 9arat il salfa ahaly kanaw 3ndaha 3my ana abeha ma aby a3esh mn '3airha bs 5ayf ahlha ma yr'9oun feny shasawi gouly shasawi
3my: lat7aty aw3dik inha lik
him: 9ij 3my
3my: akeed bu sul6an int rayal wlni3m feek o ma ra7 alga a7ad e5af 3laiha akthar minik whya mi7taja a7ad yhtam feeha o e7ibha
him: ana b7u6ha ib galby 3my lat7aty
3my: 5ala9 3yal int lat7aty ana akalm oboha w9er 5air inshalah, ma taby itrou7 il bait itray7lik shway 9arlik cham youm mo nayem
him: 5ala9 ana mashy al7en bs ayshay e9er kalmony
He wanted to be happy, he wanted to believe what my uncle promised him but he knew in the end it was her father's decision which is why he was feeling uneasy.
He headed over to his grandfather's house since they started working on his room.
him: il salam 3laikum
mother: w 3laikum il salam
him: ha yuma shlonich
mother: il 7imdilah yuma shaklik t3ban
He sat down next to her
him: ee wala yuma ta3ban
mother: yuma ma medany akalmik 3n araya
He quickly sat up wanted to hear what his mother thought of her
mother: yuma ma t9l7lik il bnt
mother: ee yuma il bnt ma titkalam, a7is malha sha59ya wnt it7ib itsolif o t6l3 wtrou7 o il 9ara7a omha ma ry7tny
him: ana btzawjha ehya wla omha
mother: ism3ny ya bu sul6an il bnt ma t9l7lik int ma 63tny m3a 5awla o shouf sh9ar ma buga a7ad ma tikalm 3nik, 9irt 3lch b7louj il nas, 5awla itbalt 3la o5ok o bdl ma it9adg o5ok wnt 3rf tarbeta 5thait-ha o 6l3t ib shuqa w7na siktna leana glna il muhum inik mirta7 o shouf bl a5eer shswait int ma fakart ib a7ad '3airk ma fakart ib 5awatik ily ma7ad 6aq babna ys2l 3nhum int wagft n9ebhum
His mother left him in his own thoughts, guilt started to eat him up. She was right, people think it was him who cheated. Rand just graduated from university and no one has asked about her, and its not because she isnt pretty or san3a she was but maybe his mother was right it was his fault.
He headed to his room to take a shower, hoping the water would drain his thoughts but it didnt work.
rand: bu sul6an
him: come in rand
Rand sat down next to him on the bed and placed her hand on his.
rand: shfeek 7beeby tell me whats bothering you
him: mafeny shay laish
rand: again I ask you shfeeck
him: omy sam3tny kalam and I think its right
him: ina araya ma t9l7ly
rand: but she loves you and you love her
him: a3shqha mo bs a7ibha
rand: so what is the problem
him: she didnt like her mother, o galat ma t9la7ly wnha mo ra'9ya o she brought up the whole 5awla thing o galat iny intaw ma7ad yakum bcause of ily 9ar
rand: haa mn 9ijik? il zawaj qsma o n9eb ana twny mit5arja o mahola lail7en bl thanwya that doesnt mean ra7at 3laina b3dain ma tadre ymken we dont get married o its better than us marrying a guy who hits us, aw cheats on us 9a7
rand: so dont you dare think about kalmha sam3ny araya galbha aby'9 mo mithel 5awla, o she loves you o she is good for you 9adgny
him: she is in the hospital
He told her everything, and her ached for me even though she met me once but she saw how much I meant to her brother, and he meant the world to her.
He even told her the truth about 5awla.
rand: inta lat7aty wnshalah btkoun mn n9ebik
rand: laish ma teyey tit3sha ma3y?
him: la wala mly nfs bs banam
rand: okay aby ayey m3ak il mustashfa bacher
him: 5ala9 okay wake me up at 9 please mo tit25rain
rand: inshalah yala good night
Rand headed to her mothers room where she explained to her everything, she even told he that 5awla was the one who cheated on him and not the opposite.
mother: b3d galby 3la wldy
rand: mama dont tell him I told you he doesnt want anyone to know
mother: lat7aten yuma, intay ro7ay shoufay il bnt o 6amneny 3laiha
rand: inshalah yuma
The next morning he was awakened by his sister, they stopped for fa6ayer and 9aj sandwiches then headed to the hospital. I had been in a room for 2 days now and according to the doctor I was doing well.
Man9or hasnt been in to see me but he was in the hospital.
When bu sul6an and rand arrived no one was there yet, they came into my room and as soon as he stepped in I opened my eyes.
him: arooya 7beebty
I just looked at him.
He called the doctor and they checked everything and il 7imdilah all was going well, they took me off the respirator but I needed the oxygen mask to help me breath.
He sat down next to me holding my hand.
him: 7imdilah 3la salamtich
I removed the mask, tried clearing my voice
me: alah esalmik
my voice was faint and barely audible but I just wanted to talk to him.
him: sh sh sh 7beebty dont talk
He placed the mask on me once again and he just sat there looking at me, playing with my hair. We were completely oblivious to his sister, and to Jara7 and Samar he walked in. I was in pain, but having him close to me made it all better.
I loved him.
He loved me.
I just wanted to be with him.
Everyone was thrilled that I was awake and after endless pleading from my uncle man9or finally came in to see me. Since I had a pipe down my throat for 6 days my words were just a bit slurry, it was hard to talk, it actually hurt.
Man9or looked like he hadnt slept in days, it broke my heart. Then I started thinking about my parents, neither one came to see me and I doubt they asked.
man9or: 7imdilah 3la salamtich
me: a ... a .. alaah e esal esalmik
man9or: shfeha ma titkalm 3del?
he was terrified.
3my: 3dy man9or il dictor gal yabelha cham youm bs wtrid titkalm 3dy
man9or sat down next to me on my bed, he was just looking at me. I was purple especially my face. Honestly I looked different, but at the time I dont think it mattered, I was just happy.
Joun: baba when can she leave
3my: wala ma adre 3la il dictor
man9or: bt5alonha itrid il bait?
3my: la r7 tyey 3ndy
man9or: la 3my 5alha itrid il bait o ana a7u6 baly 3laiha
Joun: LA sorry man9or so we wont take the risk
3my: 5alha trta7 3ndina cham youm b3dain e9er 5air o int man9or il bait baitik 3my mita ma tby itshoufha 7yak
I could see he wanted me to home but I couldnt.
Joun: rosey keeps asking about you kl shway she calls me wt7in
I smiled, I wish I could just live in a house with just Rosey and I.
one can only dream right pixie?
I hadnt seen him since the morning, but every time someone walks in I look at the door hoping its him but no.
After staying with me for an hour, he headed out with his sister and went back home.
mother: bu sul6an
staqfar allah walla ta3ban
him: hala yuma
mother: yuma sam7ny 3la kalam ams ana aby sa3aditk inta im3wr galby 3la 7altik
him: yuma lat7ateen ana aham shay 3ndy itkonen ra'9ya 3ly
mother: akeed ra'9ya 3laik wtha int 7as ina araya ily t9la7lik ana imwafqa
he wanted to scream, the fact that his mother was against the marriage at the beginning bothered him.
him: yuma ugh araya bl mustashfa
mother: 3sa ma shar shfeha?
Even though she heard the story she was thrilled her son wanted to share with her. He told her how my family abuses me, and its not my fault and I am the way I am because of how I was treated.
mother: 5ala9 btro7laha il laila?
him: ee laish
mother: aby arou7 m3ak
He walked over to his mother kissing the crown of her head.
They decided after 9alat ilm'3rb they would come see me.
It was just the two of us in the room, 3azzam went to get some dinner for everyone. 3my went back home to rest and come back, and man9or was going to bring Rosey, tea and come back.
Joun: are you in pain?
Joun: tben anady il nurse t36ech pain killer
I shook my head no.
Joun: will you eat something for me?
I just smiled, she knew the answer.
So bu sul6an. I looked up at her with my rosy cheeks.
Joun: as much as I was fighting against the two of you, I will fight for you now you knew he was married right
Joun: did he tell you what happened
Joun: they werent dating, but he saw her and he liked her irta7 I guess and even though everyone stood against him he went through with it and she gave him such a hard time and would start trouble with his mother and sisters but his mother mashalah 3laiha galbha kbeer and she would put up with her for him, apparently he caught her cheating
me: w what?
Joun: I dont know the specifics but for the longest time I thought he was the one who cheated and that is why I was against him and you but he then explained everything to me
me: so h he isnt a b bad b boy?
Joun: hahah la 7uby he is a great guy
Just on cue he walked in with his mother
them: il salam 3laikum
us: w 3laikum il salam
Joun: hala 5alty shlonich?
his mother: b5air il 7imdilah intay shlouich m3a il 7amal?
Joun: t3b bs il 7imdilah
his mother: 7imdilah 3la salamtich araya
me: a alah e esalmich 5 5alty
him: la titklmain 7beebty irta7y
I turned a deep crimson red 7beebty in front of his mother?
Joun: bdaina twkum ib awal il 6reej
His mother pulled a chair next to me and was looking at me loving, my insides were burning. Joun distracted his mother talking about birth and babies while he leaned in to talk to me.
him: Joun galatly ma kalaity shay 9ij
him: laish baba
me: mo yo3ana
him: bs you are weak lazem taklen, 3shany please
Man9or and Rosey walked in, she ran over to me and hugged me while she cried.
Joun: rosey 5ala9 she is fine why are you crying
3my also walked in greeting everyone and he was followed by 3azzam. The men stepped outside since I needed to get up and use the restroom. Every move hurt because of my broken ribs.
I managed to eat half a sandwich but the pain I was in was excruciating.
3my: man9or bu sul6an 6alb ed i5tik wna wafgt bs int o5oho il kber wl kilma kilmitik shrayik?
man9or: il 9ara7a 3my ana m3ndy mani3 bs oboy shloun
3my: ana kalamta o galy ina araya bnty o uhwa mala shu'3ul bs ana aby rayik
man9or: bu sul6an rayal wlni3m fee
him: tslam yal '3aly
3azzam: ha inbarkla
3my hugged him congratulating him.
3my: 7u6ha b3yonik tara ehya '3alya 3laina
him: lat7aty 3my araya bl galb
3my walked in to break the good news.
3my: mabrook arooytee
me: 3la shino?
3my: 3la bu sul6an
They are killing me, I couldnt stop blushing. Laish il i7raj!
him: man9or mita ngdar namilich?
his mother: haa laish mist3yl
him: ma aby an6er yuma
man9or: 5alha t6l3 mn il mustashfa
him: laa laish inyeb il malach ehny
Joun: il bnt malha ry? b3dain naby enjahzlaha
him: 3dy namlich o i5thaw ra7tkum bl tjheez
3my: ha man9or
man9or: haa arooy
They all turned to look at me; him, his mother, Joun, 3azzam, 3my, rosey and man9or and I think I looked like a blob of red paint.
I didnt have to answer, it showed.
3my: 3la 5air inshalah namlich b3d yomain
He wanted to jump in and say tomorrow bs ist7a.
So pixie I guess I am marrying him.
He left the hospital with his mother, 3azzam took Joun home because she wasnt feeling well, 3my had to leave and it was just man9or rosey and myself.
man9or: intay ra'9ya fee
me: um ee you dont think he is good?
man9or: mn ily shfta he is o 3my trusts him
me: um man9or
man9or: they asked about you and I told them you were doing better
I looked away.
rosey: you only ate half a sandwich eat the other half
rosey: ay araya eat I will call the doctor, why you dont marry the doctor he has better job
man9or: hahaa rosey
rosey: im serious he is handsome also and doctor
man9or: mynoona hathy, yala rosey ill take you home and ill call the nurse to give you a pain killer 3shan itnameen okay
I was left alone, as strange as it sounded I was actually happy. I needed time to think, everything so happened. I went from almost dying to getting married in 2 days.
I am getting married after tomorrow.
He is going to be my husband after tomorrow.
So im going to be married in less than 24 hours, I know I never thought I would be saying that. Actually I never thought I would be getting married so suddenly, while im all banged up. Let me fill you in on what happened.
The day before katb il kitab.
Doctor: haa araya shlonich
me: zaina, mita agdar a6l3
Doctor: today if you would like
me: 9ij ?
Doctor: ee walla bs its going to be hard 3laich fa you will need help for the first few days
me: its okay ill manage
Doctor: lat5aleny I pass by to make sure you are okay
okay I didnt know if he was flirting or just being a good doctor, regardless, he walked in the second the doctor said that. He gave both of us a look then pulled a chair next to me and held my hand in an attempt to "Claim me."
The doctor smiled and excused himself.
him: ashofich mistansa
me: ee I can leave today
him: what did I walk in on?
me: um nothing
him: o all the giggling o smiles
me: are you serious?
him: ee shino shakly im joking
me: he is my doctor
him: okay witha y3nee
I looked at him stunned, this was a side to him I hadnt seen but was he really jealous because I was talking to my doctor?
Joun: wow you can cut the tension with a knife
him: ana mashy itha tben shay call me
We waited for him to leave then she asked me.
me: ma adree, imagine he walked in o I was talking to my doctor o galy what did I walk in on o I dont know what
Joun: 7uby its okay after what he had gone through lazem eshik shway
me: bs im not like her
Joun: I know, and he will see that I promise
me: I hope so, we arent married yet o hathy awalha
Joun: welcome to married life
me: you arent making it sound pleasant
Joun: it is babe bs its not easy, and its not always life its hard making 2 people live 1 life
I stayed quiet, I dont think it hit me just how serious the step I was taking. It wasnt as simple as going out it was going to be a life altering decision.
I was scared.
I got ready to leave, Joun and 3azzam have prepared their guest room for me since it was on the bottom floor and it was a mini suit in case Bu sul6an wanted to sleep over after we were officially together.
Rosey had packed my clothes and my personal belongings and set it all up in my room at the house, the thing is I still havent talked to him about where I were to live.
man9or: ha are you ready
man9or: wain bu sul6an?
me: um galy he will meet us ib bait 3azzam
man9or: akeed you dont want to live it home I promise you I will take better care of you I wont leave your side bs I need you there
me: I wish I could 7beeby bs I dont want to risk it
him: o ana mo ra'9y
I didnt know if I was happy, scared, or just numb.
Man9or left me with him 3la ma he went to get the car.
me: um I didnt get a chance to ask you about where I was staying, I hope you dont mind that im staying at 3azzam and Joun's place right?
him: akeed 7beebty, ana knt bgolich itha tben tsknen 3ndy bs my apartment still isnt ready bs awal mat5al9 we will furnish it o move in shrayich
me: ee perfect
him: omy s2ltny itha tben 3rs
me: honestly la we can have a small party bl bait 3dee
him: ily tbena rytee o im sorry about over reacting
me: its okay 7beeby
him: ya 7ilo hl klma minich, shaklich t3bana
me: I am it hurts when I stand
him: tbeny ashelich?
He moved closer to me 7sait b6e7 mn zoud ma he makes me dizzy.
me: um bs not now
him: so tomorrow ha
I turned crimson red.
him: my9er tst7en
I was saved by the bell, man9or called Bu sul6an informing him he was out front. He sat me down on a wheel chair and wheeled me over to the car, where he carried me into the back seat then drove behind us.
His mother, 3my and murta, 3azzam, Joun, Samar, Jara7 and rosey were all waiting for me. Joun asked Rosey to just live with us, and im guessing my parents didnt mind.
We all sat down for dinner, then at 10 everyone called it a night since they had a lot to do for tomorrow. Joun informed me that there would be someone coming in to do my hair and make up and my nails.
He waited for me to get ready for bed, with the help of Joun and Rosey I took a shower, changed and snuggled into bed. He knocked on my door making sure I was descent and we stayed up until 1 just talking.
It felt great.
This was something I was looking forward to.
It was a matter of hours before he was officially mine, and I dont know what is in store for us but I can only hope for the best.
Two years ago today my life started. I got married and even though I didnt have the wedding I always pictured I got something better, I got the perfect man and now we have our 6 month old beautiful baby girl.
She has her father's big eyes, but my eye color.
I stare at her all day, worried about how I am going to raise her, how I will show her how much she means to us. I just want to hold her in my arms where I know she will be safe, and no one will ever hurt her.
She always bursts into laughter when her father carries her and as soon as he cradles her she is quiet and will just sleep in his arm, he always teases me claiming I am jealous.
Out "wedding day" was perfect. I woke up early that morning, excited. I took a bubble bath to calm my nerves, then I had a body scrub which was exhilarating. Joun and I got our hair, make up and nails done at home. I felt like a princess, everything coming to me and all I had to say was "aby."
He pampered me with attention that day, and with love. He couldnt believe I was finally his.
aah I couldnt believe it either I kept looking over at him.
knt 9ij miftashla bs I couldnt help myself, he was mine. My husband.
I just lowered my head embarrassed.
I wore a simple pearl white lace dress. We had the party in my uncles house, my parents showed up to congratulate me.
mama: swaity ily ib rasich o 5thaity?
baba: mabrook yuba
me: allah ebarik ib 7yatik
baba: ma awa9ek 3laiha
him: ehya b3youny
They went over to my parents in law congratulated them and then left. I only see them once a month when he takes me to visit, I didnt want to go but he told me it was the right thing to do and I agree.
I call my mother every now and then and for some reason I know she was excited about my pregnancy and after I gave birth she came over to bait 3my everyday to see her, since that was where I was.
Man9or never left my side, throughout the past two years. He completely transformed into a new man, I am looking for a wife for him, and I only want the best for my brother.
I havent seen my brother barak since before the hospital, I get my news from Man9or, nothing good of course.
Jara7 and Samar had their wedding ceremony in December, 6 months after my milcha. They had a huge wedding it was breath taking from the flowers, to the decorations and the gowns everything was just immaculate. I remember when I came back from the wedding the conversation I had with him.
him: ha baby inshalah istansty
me: I did they looked amazing
him: la bs mo a7la mna 9a7
me: akeed dm int ryle
him: wintay murty il zain kila
we intertwined our fingers enjoying the bliss and serenity being close to each other brought to us.
We moved in our apartment, which was in their house right before the wedding, and we have been living there since. I honestly dont want to leave. When Samar and Jara7 came back from their honeymoon they moved in in his apartment which was across from us.
Samar is now 5 months pregnant and we couldnt be happier.
Rand, his eldest sister, recently got engaged to a man who works with her so we are currently preoccupied with her wedding arrangements, its such a hassle I am glad I didnt have one.
Oh we headed to the Maldives for our honeymoon, we left once I was fully recovered so we could enjoy it fully.
And boy did we.
I couldnt keep my hands off him.
And he loved it.
Aah thinking about it makes me tingly all over.
A month after Jara7 and Samar's wedding I got pregnant and I had the worst time I was on bed rest because I was so weak and my body couldnt hand the strain of a baby. I was worried I would lose it but il7imdilah she was healthy.
I secretly wanted a boy, but I cant imagine my life without her she is my everything.
I didnt go back to work but kept doing some free lance work for a few privately owned companies. At first he didnt want me to but I found a way to convince him.
him: laish tben you work
me: it will get boring if I stay home please 7beeby
me: bs okay?
him: ee mo 3jbeny bs itha its what you want then okay
I made it up to him that night and he forgot about it in the morning, he just woke up with a smile.
Of course jealousy was such an issue for the first year it was just suffocating even when I was pregnant with my baby bump he still thought I might be looking around.
Il 7imdilah we are over that.
I wanted to stop writing but I just couldnt, you are part of my life pixie and even though I had to buy a new diary, I now just call it pixie junior, sorry original pixie, but now I think its time to stop.
I am just happy there is no other way to put it and even though you have been with me through the ups and downs now I can stand on my own two feet and I have him to take care of me and make me forget all the bad because he is the good.
Rosey now lives with us and is helping me take care of baby Masa.
5alty chose the name and I just loved it.
It breaks my heart that my parents dont want to be a part of my life but as bad as it may sound it their loss.
Joun, aah joun she has the most adorable, chubbiest baby boy he is almost 18 months old fa tawa bady he gets the hang of running and all he wants to do is just run around everyone, but his chubbiness factor limits his movement, also he gets tired real quick.
ya5tee 3laih! mn al7en 3azzam 7ajz bnty for his son, and honestly it would be an honor.
They called him R3d, after my husband.
I knew weird name huh? but it just enhances his bad boy imagine, my husband that is not baby r3ood.
First year of marriage was a roller coaster, good days and bad days but over all nothing too major and we always managed to settle our issues ourselves, we never brought it anyone from our family because we lived it would just further complex our issues.
I have to agree.
My baby girl is crying out for me so I have to leave you pixie.
Just a few things to say.
Live each day like its your last.
Give your heart to the one you love because even if they might break it they will be the only ones who can put it back together again.
Good bye pixie.